Friday, December 07, 2007

Crazy patron!!!

We occasionally get weirdos in the library (okay, frequently), but they're generally quiet and harmless. Yesterday, however, we had a real lulu. She (I'll call her Crazy Lady - CL for short)looked pretty normal, but as soon as she opened her mouth, we knew that was not the case.

Here's a rough idea of the conversation that followed:
CL came up to the reference desk where Eva was working.
EW: May I help you?
CL: I need a book on paralegals. (she pronounced it pah-ra-legal)
EW: What was that?
CL: PAH-RAH-LE-GAL
EW: Okay, I'll look that up for you. If we don't have it here, would you like me to order it from another library for you?
CL: I don't have a library card. I used to.
EW: I could look you up -
CL: In North Carolina.
EW: Oh, so you're not from around here?
CL: Oh, I'm from here - from this planet. What planet are you from? (to me) Maybe you have a decent brain in your head.

I looked at the computer screen and noted the call number of the book Eva had just looked up, and took CL over to the shelf where the book was located.
CL: That woman was terrible!
Me: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
CL: Oh, but she was!
Me: She found the book for you, didn't she?
I handed her the book, and walked away. I did not want to have a conversation with that woman!

A few minutes later, she called me over to the table where she was sitting.
CL: Do you have a private study room here?
Me: No, I'm sorry, but we're hoping to in the new building we're moving to in April.
CL: Because you're sending me to a strange and secret place.
Me: No, we don't do that here.
CL: Do what?
Me: Send people to strange and secret places.
CL: Oh, yes you are - to Guantanamo Bay, I'm sure!
I thought for a moment - yeah, that would be nice - but said, "No, I don't think so."

About 20 minutes later, she came to the desk again.
CL: Please. For. The. Ladies.
Me: Huh?
CL: PLEASE. FOR. THE. LADIES!
Me: Uhh, did you need to use the restroom?
CL: Yes! (looking at me as if I were the crazy one)
Me: The restrooms are upstairs. You'll have to get the key at the desk up there.
CL: Oh those ladies are wayyy too busy with all those kids up there! They won't be able to help me!
Me: The key is hanging on the front of the desk - you can just pick it up.
CL: (sounding exasperated) But I don't know where the bathrooms are!
Me: (pointing) They're along the wall on that side.
She stomped off, making loud frustrated noises. The patron that Eva was helping at the time said,"Wow! I thought you guys had an easy job, but not if you have to deal with people like that!

A little while later, one of the managers came downstairs and said they had to ask her to leave - she had told some kids that if she had a knife, she would use it on them. Fortunately, she left without a fuss, after telling the manager she was not schizophrenic. Eva and I were greatly relieved that she was gone. What a twilight zone moment!

3 comments:

Rachel said...

maybe she has brain damage... not exactly schizo but close. My psych teacher says that many criminals suffer from head injuries.
The worst patron we had yesterday smelled like poop, but she was nice. Unless you count those brats who constantly use the electric pencil sharpener and are just annoying.
I am sooooooo glad I don't work with you!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Rachel said...

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!!! you need to post More! all these days off you have ;) you should be blogging more :D

we had a crazy patron come in today. He doesn't speak english well, but he tries. He came today asking about colors. He wanted to know how many colors this one book had (picture book). Then he started talking about how the library looked like prison and something about animal shelters and more colors. then he put his head on the table exasperated. Then he kept coming up to the desk wanting to know if he could have this paper (and he would hold up a picture) for free. it was awkward.

Rachel said...

I am your most faithful blog-commentor!!! HAHAHA! (commentor sound cool)

dreddnott has posted a few times, but lately no one but me has commented! :P I have no life.